“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” ~Martha Washington
The way of happiness has been talked about for a long time. A few years back (2006), Will Smith starred as Chris Gardner in the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. While it garnered many accolades and based on the real life Chris Gardner, the description of “the pursuit of happiness” is wrong. Even the United States Declaration of Independence has those words. And it’s extrinsic in nature.
Happiness should not be a pursuit (in the way we are led to believe). It’s an emotion and it’s inside of us. Aside from having the basic necessities in life, plus, maybe a vacation each year, happiness itself is not outside of us. It can’t be pursued. And that has been a problem for many years in our country. I think it’s probably created a lot of neurosis too.
Having said that, there are things that bring us joy. It’s part of us to pursue those activities, not for the pursuit of happiness, but for the pure pleasure of engaging in certain activities. The kind of activities I mention are intrinsic in nature.
For example, when I am writing, I get joy out of doing it. When I practice Parkour, the challenge and flowing nature brings me joy. In both instances, I don’t pursue them to achieve happiness. I engage in those activities because I am happy.
Many times our subconscious mind has the beliefs that subscribes to the irrationality of happiness is something outside of us. If we don’t have this thing, then we can’t be happy. If only we live in another area, then we can be happy. That is simply programming that creates the behavior you engage in to pursue happiness.
“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” ~Omar Khayyam
I agree that we all should be happy and I also agree that sadness is also part of us and should be embraced when appropriate. Heck, we are all emotional beings. Let me give these rules that will help you to achieve happiness:
- Live in the present. Since anxiety is created inside of us based on a future event or a past mistake, then it is important to stay present in the now. In Buddhist psychology, the practice of mindfulness is critical to eliminating stress and anxiety. When you are living in the present moment, then only joy of the present experience can exist. If you are truly focused on living in the present, then you can’t experience negative emotions, such as guilt.
- Make a decision that your happiness is #1 above all others. When you practice this and the first rule, then you won’t feel guilty about it either.
- Destroy the self-defeating “musts” and “shoulds” in your life. These are simply irrational beliefs about something. You’ll have to look into what triggers these behaviors and learn to recognize them. When you do that, you will be able to eliminate them from your life.
- Build a super-reserve. This means both emotionally and physically. When you are in good physical shape, you will feel much better about yourself. Good fitness helps to increase the size of your hippocampus. This is where serotinin the brain is produced. The larger the hipppocampus, the happier you’ll feel.
- Realize that the practice of happiness will take some effort. Working on yourself may feel funny at first. Put as much and even more effort into yourself than in any other areas of your life. Engaging in activities you enjoy take effort as well.
These 5 rules are just a start. And they are not set in stone. Still, when you set forth in using them, you will find yourself much better off, despite your circumstances. You can be happy or unhappy, it’s your choice. Let me add that getting outdoors and in particular, on a sunny day, will help increase your happiness.
I wish you a happy and fulfilled life…
Cheers,
Bob Choat
America’s #1 Mind-Body Transformation Expert and author of Mind Your Own Fitness
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